A "Debbie Downer" a "Negative Nancy"- you know those people that can ruin your day with a comment. They go on a fabulous vacation and Hawaii is just "too humid" or eat at a great restaurant and the wine isn't the right temperature. Or worse, they think you are a nice person but you could stand to lose just a little weight.
Years ago when I used to teach scrapbook classes all over the country the students would submit evaluations after the class. There could be forty-nine stunning reviews of just how many people loved your teaching and the class, but it was that one person who had something negative to say that you held on to. It didn't matter that forty-nine people thought you were great. It was that one person that said "you talked to fast" or "they didn't get enough free stuff" that you held onto and internalized.
Why do we do that? Why are negative comments so hurtful and why do people think it's okay to say them. We've all heard the adage "if you can't say something nice, don't say it at all" but it seems like in this day and age nobody follows it. People delight in bringing others down. And it's sad how words can hurt. Maybe you have a friend, spouse, or relative like this. You don't remember the nice things they say to you, but the negative words will swirl in your head for days, eroding your self confidence and self esteem, making you doubt yourself.
In my old age I've learned a few things. One, I don't have to put of with it. Having a "Debbie Downer" around you, only brings you down too. It surrounds you with an air of negativity that you just don't need in your life. So I don't have people around me that don't support and love me- unconditionally, flaws and all.
Two, nothing will make these people happy- so don't bother to try. The weather will always be too hot or too cold. The food will always be bad even when it's good. You will never be enough to them, because they aren't enough to themselves.
I picture them like this video. They are the raccoon and happiness is just over the wall.
Copy and paste this into your browser. It's worth the visual.
So I challenge you today...say something nice. Be positive. Quell the desire to complain. Don't be the "Debbie Downer"...you and everyone around you will be happier.
Stepping off my soapbox now...
-Tricia
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